


Determinism

by Joewue



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bad Writing, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Loneliness, Not Beta Read, Short One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 14:10:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joewue/pseuds/Joewue
Summary: *Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.





	Determinism

**Author's Note:**

> Extremely short and extremely stupid. English is not my first language, so my grammar probably sucks. Don't be afraid to verbally abuse me, I'll appreciate your opinion anyway.

***Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.**

'You' lie here on 'your' bed and keep staring at the ceiling. You can't look away, can't do anything _never could, never you, nothing_ , but at least 'you' can blink - and it's almost a small twisted mercy, because you remember the times when you couldn't open 'your' eyes, couldn't scream, couldn't cry.

'You' never cry. 'You' don't have any reason to. Everything is fine.

You're falling, falling, falling and _please let me go just this once please I'm begging you_ you fail to see how's that even possible, because there's nowhere for 'you' to fall _anymore, you're already at the bottom_. 

'Your' breath is quiet and steady as it should be, because there's nothing wrong with 'you', 'you're' calm and peaceful.

'Your' name is 'Kris'. 'Everyone' call 'you' that.

But it's not yours, it's not yours, _it's just a fucking joke Kris Kris **Ch** ara and F **ris** k hurts **K** - **ris** do **They** think it's hilarious please stop_ but you never had anything to call yourself beside that. 

You don't even know who you are, but neither do 'your' 'family'. 'They' don't even know you exist. 'They' probably don't even know **They** exist.

Do **They**? Do you?

***Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.**

Even though you're tired, you're so tired you just want to dissappear. You tired of screams that never escaped 'your' throat and tears that never fell down 'your' cheeks. You want to dissappear, but 'you' don't want to.

'You're' filled with power.

You want 'your' 'mother' to hug you again, but 'she' can't. 'She' doesn't hear you. And even if 'she' could - 'she's' not real, right? Is she?

You're afraid. Of the voices, of darkness and of your own helplessness. 'Your' heart beats every second, 75 times per minute, 4,500 times per hour - a perfect pace. Your heart doesn’t beat at all. Do you have it? You don't know.

You don't have a soul. 'You' have, but it's not 'yours'. Is it? Does that mean you're not really real, that you're not actually a person? 'You're' not a person, that's for sure. 

_Please I just want to die I don't want to think anymore please let me go~_

***Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.**

You're hurting. It hurts so bad.

'You' have to 'choose' _fight or mercy is there even a difference no there's not_ and **They** push, screaming at each other, fighting for the control _not you never you you will never be the one in control ever_. One would think it's their time to make decision, but you don't, you're not that naive. You know that eventually one will lose, so 'you' wait patiently staring at the world around 'you' as it freezes _can 'they' see can anyone see please just say something don't leave me alone again_.

***Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.**

Why can't 'they' just hear you? 

_Someone anyone please I have voice I'm right here I'm scared please mom you said you love me_

Why won't 'they' at least try?

_Just say something Azzy I trusted you how can you sit there as if nothing is going on_

When was the last time 'anybody' asked 'you' about 'your' 'life'? When did 'everybody' stop caring?

Nobody cares about 'you'. 

Nobody loves you.

Why can't you just die?

***Tonight, it seems, you can't fall asleep.**


End file.
